Kinder no-prize

Just thought I'd share the latest kinder. What the fuck is this?

Half A Mustache?

If you're gonna be creepy and grow a mustache - then why don't you just grow the whole thing? This guy couldn't finish anything could he?

Email etiquette

DON'T SEND EMAILS THAT ARE IN CAPS LOCK. I don't care what the content is, I still consider it shouting.

Take a note

Leopard Swallows Entire Woman

Leopard prints not cool. Really..... not..... cool.

Monday

is Satan's sidekick.

I'll kill you....

This is what happens

when you find out your friend has questionable music on their mp3 player:

Don't ever come near me with this shit

Sean Kingston - Cool As A Bag Of Dead Cats

You know what's right about this picture?



Nothing.


I blame his mom.

Spam

Can go fuck itself. I have to actually look at it to make sure no real emails accidentally end up in my spam folder.

"Cheque, credit or savings?"

"Savings...more like spendings account!"

NEVER EVER say this again.

If you are driving a car...

Don't stop in the middle of the road for me to cross UNLESS I'm at a crossing or at lights. You are a car, don't stop in the middle of the highway. Sure it might be polite to ME, but not for the other 10 cars behind you. While you're at it, you may as well get out and hold my hand while I make my way to the other side.

I'm an adult. I know how to cross the road.

Compulsive liars

I know 3 compulsive liars. I think everyone knows someone like this. You know, people that tell such unbelievable stories that it's almost hilarious. While it can be entertaining it's also offensive that they really think you're stupid enough to believe such rubbish. Is it a disease?

Indiana Jones and The Fucking what?????

Ok Ok Ok... i love Indiana Jones... i was brought up on Indiana Jones! He was the shit! Raiders of the lost ark came along and my dad had Dubbed me a copy from the TV and when i a weee lad.... i thrived on it.. i watched it till the VHS was soo stretched its was almost unwatchable... Temple of Doom was also on high rotation.. inbetween Short Circuit and Star Wars... ok ok... i sound like a dork... whatver i loved those big budget sci fi / adventure flicks when i was a kid.

The Last Crusade SHOULD have been just that! Sean Connery was convincing he played a great version of Henry Jones. Great story great charcter devlopment (for an Indian Jones Flick!) and more to the point.. some Plausibility... if you work your imagination hard enough.

SPOILER ALERT..... wait... fuck it... I'm doing you a favour... dont waste your cash, seriously!


In the first 10 minutes Harrison Fords pulling out the "it was 10 years ago!" lines trying to give some kind of continuity... then BAM... Area 51! come on...

Obviously (Obviously!) the russians want to find this artifact that Indiana had studied back in the day... so of course... the case it was held in was HIGHLY magnitised... so much so that if you throw Gun Powder in the air... the metallic substance will be drawn through the air to indicate where it is... Hmmm... makes me want to magnatise my mobile phone.. so i can find the fucking thing when i have left it on "silent".

Oh whats next? oh yeah Indiana finds himself running through a town... In the Middle of the Nevada Desert after escaping the Russians, although all the towns folk are made of plastic.., yes thats right a Nuclear Test Zone... we hear sirens... and theres a count down.... and then blinding lights and melting plastic faces, and shots of polyester shirts being fused to fake limbs... BUT... dont worry... Indiana's Safe, he's hiding inside a refrigerater! The whole town is converted to splinters... but here's indiana...Flying through the atmosphere... thrown hundreds of metres, and he just gets up and walks away...

Folks this is just the first 10 - 15 minutes.

To cut a long story short... there's a motorcycle chase through a library, posessed islanders protecting a grave where an Aliens head was hidden, Russian Dancing around a camp fire, Indiana Discovers he has a Son, quick sand, "Snakes, Snakes, I hate Snakes", Man eating ants, A sword fight fought between two people standing on the back of jeeps hurtling through the middle of a jungle, The discovery of a Sacred Alien Museum,A triple Crossing agent, Flying Saucers, AND a wedding.

Fuck you George Lucas.... you should be ashamed! And Fuck you Speilberg... where you even on the set to direct this? the dialogue man... oh the dialogue.

To say i was dissapointed was an understatement.

Fuck you.

I scream at ice cream

Ummm "No boring bits" ?? I got no cone:







JERKS!


Then (careful what you wish for)... I got bits:



What?





Huh?





Oh...








Fuck you

Kinder surprise?

So I was having a shit day and thought I'd treat myself. I could have bought something else but the lure of blind packaging will get me every time.

This is what I got:







I was pretty pissed. It sat on my desk at work and I boycotted the activity for a week in protest. Then in a moment of boredom I cracked and put it together.








Get fucked.